:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
