was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
