Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
