If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
