Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm like, not good at living.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize