Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize