Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
