oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
