can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
