Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
