But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am available for nakedness
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
