We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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