just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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