Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So vagazzling was a success
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
