and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just google imaged poop.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
