How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize