Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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