I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
