That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
