I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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