she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
