After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
