On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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