the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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