The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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