There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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