I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
