The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
