It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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