I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
