i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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