oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
