is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
