How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Someone shattered a urinal.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
