Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
