so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
