my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
