So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
