dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
