I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
