soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
