Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
