Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
