6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
