No, you can still breathe under the balls.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
