tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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