You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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