She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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