normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
