who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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