pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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