I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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