you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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