You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
