Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
