we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize