Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
