i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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