My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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