I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
