he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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