apparently the secret to your success is patron
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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