Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I met the friendliest cop last night
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
