Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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